Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. That saying is partly true, simply because sometimes you really shouldn’t judge a person on a first impression. What happens if the person you are interested in, is having a bad day and you mistakenly misjudge who you “think” he or she really is? Or what about guys who judge a woman on basically how she looks and not who she really is on the inside? With that said, that is not the only thing that bugs a lot of single women these days about men.

Now, if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, then these tips are for you, directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. (Well, across Rockland County)

The first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry. Tip Number One: Be a Gentleman

Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull her chair, and be polite to her along with the people around you. This just shouldn’t be if you are going on date or will be going on a date, this is something that you should be doing regardless.

Tip Number Two: Converse, Converse, Converse!

The last thing you want to be doing after meeting someone, is to either be sitting or standing there with nothing to talk about. What bugs single women about men who they “bump” into or men they kind of know through friends or co-workers, is the fact that they don’t know how to make small talk. The ONLY way you will ever truly know someone is if you talk to them. Think about what you would like to know about her and ask questions. You can also talk about what you like to do for fun, the weather, sports, movies, etc. Find out what she does for a living and tell her about what you do. The only thing never to talk about are previous relationships and never ask her about hers.

Tip Number Three: Using the dreaded phrases, “I’ll Call You,” or “I’ll try,” and never following through!

Do not, under any circumstances, tell her you will call her if you are not interested and have no plans to call her and never tell her that you will “try” to show up at a party or a bar if she invites you if you really have no interest in showing up or if you have no interest in her at all. What bugs single women about men who use these phrases is the fact that you what you are really doing is leading her to believe that you are interested in her, when you aren’t. I am going to let the cat out of the bag on this one, there are no set “times” when you can in fact call a woman after she gives you her number. The unwritten rule of, waiting three days to call, is just plain stupid. Why on Earth do you want to wait three days to call a woman you are crazy about or want to get know? Time wasted is time you can not get back. Don’t just stand there and watch another guy go out with the girl of your dreams. When she gives you her number, use it immediately.

If you end up going on a date then tips four and five are for you: Tip Number Four: Arrive on Time and if you are running late call! Nothing is worse then thinking we are being stood up! If you are stuck in traffic, can’t find a parking spot, or something else came up, use your cell phone (that’s what they are for) and let the lady know. What you guys don’t realize is that after you turn up late, not only does it give us the impression that you are unreliable or not caring enough, it also makes us question your motives.

Tip Number Five: Pay for the date. When a man takes it upon himself to pay for the date, he is displaying that old act of “chivalry” that is missing from many men these days. Some women like going “dutch” but insist that the first date is on you. To a woman, it looks really bad if she has to start pulling out her own money. To quote a few women I asked this question too, One summed it up perfectly, “Any man who does not pay or does not even offer to pay is a cheapskate and there is nothing worst than a cheap man!”