Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: The Art Of Wooing A Woman

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

If you look up the word, “wooing” in the dictionary, the definition is quite direct and simple: “try to gain the love of (someone, typically a woman), especially with a view to marriage. Synonyms: court, pursue, chase.” Even with that direct and simple definition, some men are still confused between flirting and wooing a woman. I can hear some of them asking, “Well, what is difference because aren’t both the same thing?” Um, nope. Not all. There is a major difference between “just flirting,” “flirting to get a woman in bed with you,” and “wooing a woman.”

First off, we all have done the “just flirting,” with no intention to either hook up or want to pursue the potential for a relationship. For example, you are in line at the grocery store and this pretty girl is in front of you on line. You notice her, say something, she smiles or laughs, and that’s it. You flirted. You didn’t exchange phone numbers, or in today’s world, exchange social media sites, etc. You both just “shared” a flirting moment and it felt good.

Sometimes it not only boosts our confidence when someone just flirts out of the blue with you, but it also can boost your own self confidence when you flirt with a woman and she responds to you. (Same for a woman flirting with a man.)

Now, flirting to get a woman in bed with you, or as I see it, line throwing, ( When most guys throw out every line in the book to get a woman to sleep with them. From saying, “Nice legs; what time do they open?” to buying her drinks and so forth, just to “score” is the flirting that most women are not too fond of for many reasons. When you are wooing a woman you are not just interested in scoring with her. You are interested in her for love, for companionship, for life.

Let’s be honest, in today’s world not too many men actually know HOW to woo a woman. So here are five tips on how a man can woo a woman he is interested in pursuing a realtionship beyond sex with:

1- Make her laugh. Women love guys with a great sense of humor. A good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. Try to know her a little bit more before you attempt any jokes. You don’t want to come off as a jerk, especially if she takes your joke the wrong way. What you think is funny, someone else might take offense at, so it’s just best to be light-hearted.

2- Find something that you can bond over. Having a couple of the same interests that you have in common is really important for the success of a relationship. Some differences are good and make for excitement and opportunities for personal growth, but you’ll need to at least learn to enjoy some of the same things that she does.

3-Be willing to lead or follow. Some women like a guy who leads the way to romance, while some women like to take hold of the reigns. You have to be willing to take charge and make the first move if she’s not doing it but you also have to be willing to accept her being in charge too. If you can’t, then she’s not the right woman for you. How do you know WHEN to make the first move? First, it’s important to know that you might never have a clear sign or perfect opportunity. Sometimes the moment, “just strikes” and if you are waiting for the “perfect” moment, you may actually miss it.

4-Be a gentleman about kissing. When you are ready for the first kiss and the mood is right, lean towards her slowly, but don’t shove your face into hers. Nothing is more of a turn off when a guy shoves his tongue down our throat or thinks he is licking a Tootsie Pop! That is just gross and unnecessary. If she doesn’t back away, gently lean the rest of the way in for the kiss. Go with what feels natural for the moment. Bottom line: lead the kiss, but let her come to you.

5- Finally, you need to show you that you care, she needs to feel wanted but also respected at the same time. Women look for relationships with someone who can be their rock, their strength when everything else is going wrong, so show her that you really care for her and that you’re up to the task. Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder, listen to her complain about her day or whatever she is going through. Remember, it’s not all about you. Which brings me to talking about respect. You should value her opinion, listen to her, never put her down or insult her, and don’t do/say things that you know are hurtful.

A well planned wooing effort goes a long way in not only making a great impression, but getting her to like you even before you ask her out. This way you don’t have to fear rejection, because you already know that she is interested in you. Which, is half the battle for most men.

Without romance, love gets dry. Without respect, love gets lost. Without caring, love gets boring. Without honesty, love gets unhappy, and without trust, love gets unstable. A real man never stops trying to show his woman how much she means to him even after he already has her. Never wish for a perfect partner. Never expect an amazing romance. In the end we all just want someone who will bring back the love that we give out. Someone who we can call “mine.”

The Art Of Wooing A Woman

If you look up the word, “wooing” in the dictionary, the definition is quite direct and simple: “try to gain the love of (someone, typically a woman), especially with a view to marriage. Synonyms: court, pursue, chase.”  Even with that direct and simple definition, some men are still confused between flirting and wooing a woman.  I can hear some of them asking, “Well, what is difference because aren’t both the same thing?”  Um, nope.  Not all. There is a major difference between “just flirting,” “flirting to get a woman in bed with you,” and “wooing a woman.”

First off, we all have done the “just flirting,” with no intention to either hook up or want to pursue the potential for a relationship. For example, you are in line at the grocery store and this pretty girl is in front of you on line. You notice her, say something, she smiles or laughs, and that’s it. You flirted. You didn’t exchange phone numbers, or in today’s world, exchange social media sites, etc. You both just “shared” a flirting moment and it felt good.
Sometimes it not only boosts our confidence when someone just flirts out of the blue with you, but it also can boost your own self confidence when you flirt with a woman and she responds to you. (Same for a woman flirting with a man.)

Now, flirting to get a woman in bed with you, or as I see it, line throwing, ( When most guys throw out every line in the book to get a woman to sleep with them. From saying, “Nice legs; what time do they open?”  to buying her drinks and so forth, just to “score” is the flirting that most women are not too fond of for many reasons. When you are wooing a woman you are not just interested in scoring with her. You are interested in her for love, for companionship, for life.

Let’s be honest, in today’s world not too many men actually know HOW to woo a woman.  So here are five tips on how a man can woo a woman he is interested in pursuing a realtionship beyond sex with:

1- Make her laugh. Women love guys with a great sense of humor. A good laugh is always a smart way to break the ice. Try to know her a little bit more before you attempt any jokes. You don’t want to come off as a jerk, especially if she takes your joke the wrong way. What you think is funny, someone else might take offense at, so it’s just best to be light-hearted.

2- Find something that you can bond over.  Having a couple of the same interests that you have in common is really important for the success of a relationship. Some differences are good and make for excitement and opportunities for personal growth, but you’ll need to at least learn to enjoy some of the same things that she does.

3-Be willing to lead or follow.  Some women like a guy who leads the way to romance, while some women like to take hold of the reigns.  You have to be willing to take charge and make the first move if she’s not doing it but you also have to be willing to accept her being in charge too. If you can’t, then she’s not the right woman for you.  How do you know WHEN to make the first move?  First, it’s important to know that you might never have a clear sign or perfect opportunity. Sometimes the moment, “just strikes” and if you are waiting for the “perfect” moment, you may actually miss it.

4-Be a gentleman about kissing. When you are ready for the first kiss and the mood is right, lean towards her slowly, but don’t shove your face into hers. Nothing is more of a turn off when a guy shoves his tongue down our throat or thinks he is licking a Tootsie Pop! That is just gross and unnecessary.  If she doesn’t back away, gently lean the rest of the way in for the kiss. Go with what feels natural for the moment. Bottom line: lead the kiss, but let her come to you.

5- Finally, you need to show you that you care, she needs to feel wanted but also respected at the same time. Women look for relationships with someone who can be their rock, their strength when everything else is going wrong, so show her that you really care for her and that you’re up to the task. Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder, listen to her complain about her day or whatever she is going through. Remember, it’s not all about you.  Which brings me to talking about respect. You should value her opinion, listen to her, never put her down or insult her, and don’t do/say things that you know are hurtful.

A well planned wooing effort goes a long way in not only making a great impression, but getting her to like you even before you ask her out.  This way you don’t have to fear rejection, because you already know that she is interested in you. Which, is half the battle for most men.

Without romance, love gets dry. Without respect, love gets lost. Without caring, love gets boring. Without honesty, love gets unhappy, and without trust, love gets unstable. A real man never stops trying to show his woman how much she means to him even after he already has her. Never wish for a perfect partner. Never expect an amazing romance. In the end we all just want someone who will bring back the love that we give out. Someone who we can call “mine.”