Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: Relationship Perspectives

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

This past weekend was bittersweet. I got to celebrate my soon-to-be sister-in-law at her bridal shower, celebrated my cousin’s college graduation, celebrated another cousin’s engagement & also had to deal with a sudden loss with a family friend. Actually, I would say that the loss was not just a “family friend” but more like a second family.

Sudden death always teaches lessons. It teaches me that life is precious & that we should always go after our dreams. Fear is something that shouldn’t stand in our way. Over the past 7 months I have grown so much as a person. Looking back on my life and where I was and where I want to be, I can honestly say that slowly step by step I am getting there, both personally and professionally.

Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. By overcoming our fears we move forward stronger and wiser. Sometimes you can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you just by keeping all your feelings hidden.

I think all of us at some point in our lives have kept our feelings hidden, either out of fear that someone will not reflect those feelings back or that we feel that we are protecting someone from the truth. So it’s easier to just keep it to ourselves. When the truth is, life is short. You never know when it will be your last day, and regrets in life are a complete waste of time and energy. One thing I’ve learned in my life is to never expect people to treat you as good as you treat them or you will be disappointed. That doesn’t mean I can’t treat people as I would want them to treat me, it’s just to never expect anyone to go above and beyond what I know I enjoy doing. I enjoy being there for others. Nothing makes me happier than to see someone else smile, but I will say that when someone reaches out to make me smile, it touches my heart.

Relationships are not easy. Life is not easy. Everyone, everywhere has some sort of excuse as to why they act the way they do, say what they end up saying and they have an excuse as to why they have treated people poorly. Yep, excuses. But the truth is, can’t isn’t an excuse. Can’t just means you won’t try. I’ve been told that you get what you’re willing to pay for, and there’s no doubt that it’s going to cost something to pay the dues that great relationships require. But love, true love is priceless, you can’t put a price tage on it. But the truth is there are sacrifices people make in order to keep a relationship working. You must communicate, there must be give and take, and there must be respect for each other. But see, society is under the wrong impression that everyday relationships should feel magical and fun.

There are times when you will disagree and there are times when you will get so frustrated that he or she is not paying attention to you, listening to you or even just being there because of so many other distractions one has during the day. There are times when you will have moments that become memories, and times when you will feel like you don’t need to work at the relationship at all.

It has to be a balance. You don’t want to work on something that is making you miserable, you want to be working on something that is making you even more happier than you ever thought you would be able to imagine. You want to add to your life, not take away from it.

But in the end, it’s those relationships that have a foundation of friendship that survive. Without getting to know someone inside and out, you won’t have the tools needed to keep a relationship going. Have a passion for life, a passion to love another, is something that we all strive for. Like a battery powers a car, passion powers our souls. Without it, our hearts go hungry. But passion and romance are two very different creatures.

When romance blooms, it’s one’s deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person that are big steps one takes to form a union, whereas, passion is something that we create out of our love for someone, something, or a cause. But at the same time, you can not have a romantic relationship without passion, whereas, you can have a passionate life without romance.

To love someone else is to risk being hurt. But there is no greater reward than love. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope everything will be perfect is to risk disappointment. Life isn’t about waiting for it to stop raining, it’s about dancing in the rain. To use a hockey reference, I will quote Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” And in relationships and love, not risking letting someone into your life in fear that you will hurt them or they will hurt you, may cause you to miss out on someone special.

Remember, woulda, coulda, shoulda, will never get you anywhere in life. All it will get you is to question and live with regret.

So remember to, count your blessings, think twice before you complain, give more than you ask for, do what makes you happy & enjoy life. Life is about taking chances, getting messy, and realizing you don’t have to be right every time! Live your life to the fullest and don’t regret anything. Live each day with peace and love; no matter what storm travels through. Stop waiting for a better day to come. Live in the moment, enjoy it and today will become the day you have been waiting for.