Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: An Open Letter to Every Guy on the Planet

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

Dear Every Guy on The Planet:

We women know that it’s not easy for you when it comes to dealing with us and relationships.

I will admit, us women can be annoying sometimes. We nag the death out of you to do things. We demand that you communicate to us how you are feeling and we also expect you to read our minds and body language all the time. Whew! That must be tiring! It is not easy being a man when it comes to dealing with us women, but a shout out to those who do it right.

Sometimes though, some of you just totally screw it up by playing mindless mind games with us. For example, Some guys think they can figure us out by making statements about their future, because how we react or answer the question, tells them everything. Listen guys, how we react or answer your gameish questions doesn’t mean that’s EXACTLY how we feel about the future, whereas we are just answering your question. Instead of getting us to react, why don’t you just talk to us about things like normal people do. Us women are really not from another planet!

Then there are the guys, the sweethearts, who have been through the ringer with a past experience, who by chance, end up falling for someone, to only panic. Here’s how the man who falls hopelessly for someone by chance reacts: “I tripped and fell into some feelings. I’m okay now. I got up and brushed that crap right off.”

And then all these guys then do the, “If I ignore her, she’ll go away,” because in their silly minds they either think, A) She’s too good for me or B) I can’t be rejected again so it’s best to just up and run away like a little boy, instead of being the mature one and having * gasp * a conversation about ….wait… feelings!

Then there are guys who have just gotten a divorce and may feel that they aren’t ready to start a new relationship but they find themselves head over heels for someone. This is why communicating is so important. I know that I am not a mind reader. How would I know that someone is not ready to start a relationship if that person never told me? I would not have a problem at all being just friends until he felt ready to cross that line. There is a thing called, going slow. I know that in today’s world everything is fast paced, but wasn’t it the tortoise that won the race and not the rabbit?

Sometimes we are afraid to let ourselves feel things because of past experiences but why run away from something that could be very special in the future?

Any change in life is scary. But do you know what is scarier? Regret.

It totally stinks when you realize that you really have fallen for someone but are afraid to tell them how you feel, out of fear that they don’t love you back. But what I have learned is, why waste your feelings on someone and go through all that crap, (Anxiety, Nervousness, and Stress) when instead the best way to know HOW someone FEELS is to: ASK. It’s not easy, and yeah, you’re ego could get bruised, but in the end, you will save yourself all the pain and questioning just simply by putting on a brave face and asking someone how they feel.

See, it shouldn’t be the woman doing the asking, this really should be a MAN thing. Remember, chivalry and treating women like ladies? I still feel even in 2014, that a man should be the one to do the asking BUT I will say that sometimes you guys need a steady push to do just that. If women waited for you men to do things when you were good and ready, the entire human race would have died out by now. Seriously.

Just ask me, “How do you feel about me?” Or, “I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime.” It’s not rocket science. How will you know what my answer will be if you don’t ask? Or if you just got out of a relationship and you find yourself unsure about how someone feels and you know that you aren’t ready simply say, “Look, I just got out of a really bad relationship. I like you a lot, you really are great, but I’m not ready to start another. Can you and I be friends for now, and see what happens?”

See, that’s a simple way of handling it instead of you panicking and heading for the hills!

See ladies, every man is afraid of something. That’s how you know he’s in love with you; when he’s afraid of not only losing you, but letting you into his heart. And he who is afraid of making mistakes is afraid of living life to the fullest. Never be afraid to fall in love. Never pretend to be okay. Most of all, never pretend that you don’t love somebody, even if it’s written all over your face.

Sincerely, Women Everywhere