Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: How True Feminism is Dead

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

The other day, while on Facebook, I came across a post about feminism and how some women today are rejecting the feminist movement.

I must say, I was baffled. Baffled because the entire reason for the movement in the first place is being totally overlooked in 2014!

In the 1950s, women of the “I Love Lucy” era were portrayed as a woman-in-distress, who always needed her husband, the man, to bail her out. The 1960s is when the role of women in American society changed, and changed drastically. Women fought against sexual harassment, entered the work force in enormous numbers and fought for equal pay and advancement in the workplace.

By the end of the 60s, more than 80 percent of wives of childbearing age were using contraception after the federal government in 1960 approved a birth control pill. By the middle of the 1970s, women were able to run in the Boston Marathon, get a credit card, keep her job if she became pregnant, and report sexual harassment.

The 1980s saw a rise of females entering medical, law, and business school. People tried to get rid of the label “it’s a woman’s job.” By 1998, there was a TV show on HBO that finally changed how single women should be perceived called “Sex and the City.”

In today’s society feminism is something that is shoved down our throats as we are told that we are not being treated well.

BUT if you see the progress from the 50s until now, everything that has happened in history has been totally taken out of context. The media has played a very strong part in trying to make it seem as though women are not being treated right, we need to look and act this way, women are victims, etc.

This movement was designed for equality between the sexes, but instead in 2014 feminism equals hating and bashing men. Man-hating is now a part of that goal: “Men are bad and women must stick together so one day a woman might be president…. yada yada yada…”

And some women wonder WHY they are single and no man is biting the bait they are throwing out? Not to say…never mind, I’ll say it. Your negative attitudes toward men could be the number one reason why.

My self-worth is not tied to what society says I should wear, how I should speak, who I can date, and what I do for a living. I’m a strong, independent adult, capable of taking care of myself. As a woman in 2014, I am not oppressed and neither is any other woman today!

I can be whoever I want. I can date whomever I wish. And I never dress for men, I dress for myself. I want to be treated as a lady, but I also don’t want to be treated with kid gloves either. Here’s what these feminists of today seem to not know or don’t want to admit:

Men have as many issues as women. Did you know that men make a sizable proportion of domestic violence victims? Men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police and see their attacker go free, because women are seen as the victim, not the perpetrator. Men are largely silent on the issue because of the perception that men are physically stronger and should be able to subdue a female attacker easily.

Those men who do report physical violence are more likely to be ridiculed–both by law enforcement and by the public–than women are. One out of every 33 American men has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in his lifetime.

Women are more brutal than men when it comes to emotional abuse. In most cases men are more affected by being emotionally abused more than women are. For a man, being humliated in front of others, even in the privacy of their own home, is more devastating than being physically abused.

Many men live up to the code, of “never hitting a woman.” However, being emotionally abused by a woman can have severe consequences in its own right. Men who are being abused emotionally always feel that they are “walking on eggshells” in order to “keep the peace,” instead of talking about their feelings. Ultimately, they tend to shutdown totally and remove themselves from forming bonds with women. If you are a guy and this sounds like your relationship, you are very likely in an unhealthy, controlling, abusive relationship and need to get out now.

Everyone, male or female deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone deserves love and everyone deserves a chance to be who they wish to be. That was the initial goal of feminism back in the day until the man-bashing women took over the movement. Just like I have learned that not all men are the same, the same can be said about women. All women aren’t into this man-bashing thing. Some of us are good-hearted, sweet, kind and understanding. So to all those men who have given up on finding someone who wants to give you the world, don’t. She is out there, I swear.

Everyone deserves true, real love that is given from the heart. Don’t ever doubt that you deserve it.

Life can be hectic, confusing, painful, unpredictable and who knows what may be around the next corner. But eventually you learn that the human spirit prevails, hearts open and love surprises-–often when we least expect it.

And we don’t need “feminism” in order to know that.