“He wanted the most out of life”: Remembering Brian Kilduff

If true wealth can be defined as the number of worlds one has changed, the family and friends of Brian Kilduff would agree he lived a rich life. According to loved ones, the West Haverstraw-raised 27-year-old—who recently passed of a sudden illness while on a hiking trip to Patagonia in southern Chile—was a light to all who knew him, always ready to pitch in with a task or offer a supportive word when needed.

Described as the “funniest guy you’d ever meet” by younger sister Jaclyn Kilduff, Brian was known for his adventurous spirit, passion for the environment and his infectious smile.

“I know it sounds so cliché, but he really lit up the room,” Jaclyn said. “Everyone was happy when he was around. He always made it his mission to make people happy and make people laugh…We always had plans to go to this concert, go on that trip. He wanted the most out of life.”

Born in 1996 and raised in West Haverstraw, New York, Brian was the oldest of three siblings (Jaclyn, 23 and James, 17) born to parents Bernadette and Daniel Kilduff. After attending West Haverstraw Elementary School, Farley Middle School and Fieldstone Secondary School, Brian went to North Rockland High School, where he played hockey as a forward and was described by family friend Coach Gary Dworkowitz as “an easy guy to coach.”

Brian went on to attend the University of Delaware, graduating in 2018 with a degree in English and a minor in journalism. There, he developed a passion for photography and video work, covering university lacrosse games, as well as hockey games at his high school alma mater and Army West Point Athletics. When COVID-19 later stalled these jobs, Brian tried his hand at bartending, securing a position at Hudson’s Mill in Garnerville, which his mother said he loved.

After making the move to Hoboken, New Jersey to live with a group of high school friends, he continued bartending while working for Green Bucket Compost, an environmental startup with a focus on turning compost into renewable energy. Due to the company’s success, Brian was in the planning stages of shooting commercials for the startup, doubling up on his passions for videography and environmental causes.

“Brian was going to get back into the videography stuff, combining both passions. He was so excited,” said mother Bernadette.

The Trip to Patagonia

An adventurer by nature, Brian’s plans to celebrate the end of 2023 involved going on a trip with some college friends to complete the famous hike to Patagonia in southern Chile. The main hike was to be five days, with a one-day excursion planned in Puerto Natales. When the group flew into Santiago (the capital of Chile) on Christmas Eve and arrived on Christmas Day, Brian was reportedly feeling fine, even posing in a picture of the group drinking lemonades. But when the time came to go on the one-day hike, Brian decided not to go, citing body aches and congestion. Assuming it was a 24-hour bug, his friends were none too concerned.

On December 28, the five-day hike to Patagonia was scheduled to commence. Though he still wasn’t feeling well, Brian left the hostel with his group that morning, taking the three-hour bus ride to the hike’s starting point. However, he still felt poorly by the time they got there, so his friends decided to send him back to the hostel to rest. It was after the second bus ride that Brian collapsed.

Hostel staff sent Brian to a hospital in Puerto Natales, where he was diagnosed with pneumonia, a bacterial pulmonary infection and was promptly intubated. Within hours, Brian was airlifted to another hospital in Punta Arenas, where he went into septic shock and organ failure, eventually leading to his passing at 4 p.m. on December 29. Desperate to get back to their friend after hearing of his sudden deterioration, the group missed Brian by half an hour.

“As his mom and with the kind of person he was, I’m thinking that he didn’t let on how bad he was feeling because he didn’t want his friends to miss (the trip),” Bernadette said. “They’d been planning this for the better part of a year. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and he did not want his friends to come back with him and miss this. So I’m almost 100% certain he did not let on how bad he was.”

Getting Brian Home; A “GoFundMe” Community Effort

The journey to bring Brian home was any parent’s worst nightmare. After receiving the news of Brian’s passing shortly before leaving for an emergency flight in an attempt to see their son, Bernadette and Daniel had to sit for 10 hours on a plane to Santiago, Chile, an experience Bernadette describes as “numb and raw.” The couple then took a six-hour connecting flight to Punta Arenas, the city where Brian died. Few people in the city spoke English, making communication with officials especially difficult. Though a Spanish-speaking friend of Brian’s stayed for a few days to assist, Bernadette and Daniel were soon left in their hotel alone.

With little to do but wait, the pair spent large portions of their time reading messages of support on social media. It was there that they saw the rapidly increasing number of donations on a fundraiser set up by family and friends to get Brian home, using the platform GoFundMe.

“It was tough, because we were never a family to ask for money,” Jaclyn, who met with the friends and family when setting up the fundraiser, explained. “You have to set a goal with GoFundMe, and they’re saying these crazy numbers. I was like, ‘We can’t ask for that!’…But within two hours of being posted, we hit $30,000.”

At time of publication, donations now ring in at $178,919—a number that has allowed Brian’s parents to bring him home to North Rockland and cover additional expenses, such as funeral and rent costs. The family plans to pay the kindness forward by setting up a scholarship fund to honor Brian’s passion for environmentalism or love of hockey.

The community’s support, the Kilduffs emphasize, has been “overwhelming.”

“We’re just so thankful for this community that we’re part of. It’s something we never could have expected,” said Jaclyn.

“I just can’t believe the attention that this got,” added Bernadette. “We knew how great our boy was, but it’s so comforting to know that everyone else knew too.”

Brian’s wake will be held Friday, January 12 from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. at T.J. McGowan Sons Funeral Home at 71 N. Central Highway, Garnerville NY. His funeral will be on Saturday, January 13 at 11 a.m. at St. Peter’s Church at 115 Broadway, Haverstraw NY.