Senior Lifestyle with Eileen O’Brien

The year is 1972 and this writer,  complete with a graduate degree in Clinical Psychology from St. John’s University believed herself ready, willing and able to take on the world. And then the news of the scandals at the Willowbrook State School in Staten Island, N.Y. broke in the news for all the world to read and see. For months, TV, radio, and print media showcased all the horrors. New York State mandated that the world at the Willowbrook State School (N.Y. State Association for Retarded Children v. Rockefeller) had to change radically for both the traumatized patients and staff. Hence, my first job.

Nothing in all my years of education had prepared me for the journey I was about to commence. Toilet training, teaching patients to feed and dress themselves, replacing destructive behaviors with constructive forms of relating to others, psychological testing to pinpoint patient strengths and areas of weakness which needed to be addressed to help in  my current patients’  rehabilitation, were all a part of this new world I had entered. And then there was the staff… untrained, tired, demoralized and drowning after years of pleading for help to administrators and Government Officials who were either deaf or more interested in maintaining the status quo. Luckily for me, and with the help of the Willowbrook Consent Decree, the back breaking, headache inducing, out-of-the-box thinking jump-started astonishing progress. My patients were making tremendous gains, and my staff began to feel proud of their work, requesting more training and skills to help their charges further on in their life journeys. As my patients were now transitioning to the “least restrictive living environments” in their communities of birth, with their staff guides following them, I wondered what the next step was for me. Then the call came that changed my life path.

Kingsboro Psychiatric Center, also known as Brooklyn State Hospital, wanted to hire and promote me to be a part of restructuring their institutional environment. So, I thought, what would be the harm in accepting an interview? 

Have you ever gone someplace and knew the minute you entered the door that this was the place where you belonged and were always meant to be? After touring the wards, meeting and speaking to patients and staff, I knew I had found my new home. My years at Kingsboro working with my team of patients, staff, hospital administration, families and the community were not always easy but provided the bedrock for my future work at South Beach Psychiatric Center (Staten Island, N. Y.). Sing Sing Correctional Facility (Central N. Y. Psychiatric Unit) in Ossining, N. Y. and finally at the Rockland Psychiatric Center (Orangeburg, N. Y.).

After over 25 years of being employed by NYS, one becomes confident in their  knowledge base of available resources for the citizens they serve. It was that way for me until NAMI Rockland (Formerly known as NAMI FAMILYA) and I crossed paths when I began my employment at Rockland Psy. Center. Now for those who might not be familiar with the National Alliance on Mental Illness’ (NAMI) mission, this group is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization whose core purpose is advocacy, education, support, and public awareness so that all individuals and families affected by mental illness can build better lives. With years of local services and programs in Rockland like the NAMI Helpline, NAMI Family-to-Family Course, NAMI Basics, NAMI Ending the Silence, Family Peer Advocate Program and NAMI In Our Own Voice: Living With Mental Illness among their ever evolving programs and services too numerous to fully list here, I was overjoyed to learn about two relatively new programs focusing on seniors!

The first program is the NAMI Rockland Online Support Group for Adults 55+. This new endeavor started in Oct. 20, 2025, and meets via Zoom on the third Monday of the month from 4 – 5:30 PM. and is new to the NAMI mission of improving lives by being part of the solution. This meet up offers seniors a supportive community that understands the unique challenges of maintaining good mental health in our “golden years.” So what can one expect by joining this group? How about understanding, empathy, reduced isolation, practical coping skills, renewed hope, all led by two facilitators who have traveled and are traveling through the twists and turns of the yellow brick road of life as a senior. This group is a dedicated virtual space to share, listen, learn and gain knowledge of valuable resources alongside peers. Currently the group consists of five members in addition to the two facilitators. This is a real live community, no AI here. Connecting with this Support Group offers folks the opportunity of connecting with peers who are navigating similar life experiences in a welcoming and non-judgmental environment. Run, don’t walk, to your phone or computer to sign up for the next meeting on June 15th. For further info contact NAMI Rockland at (845) 359-8787 or by e-mail at info@namirockland.org.

Every senior I have ever spoken to has shared with this writer that a parent never stops being a parent in both good and difficult times. The “good” times can be school graduations, sports achievements, first new living situations or jobs, marriages, or births of another generation. The “difficult” times can often include the diagnosis of a mental illness and the years of support and treatment that this disease requires. Stigma, isolation, and confusion often takes the place of the “good” times. Thankfully, the scientific community, schools, government and nonprofits are beginning to be laser focused on improving life for the youngest among us experiencing symptoms of mental illness. But what about the “older” parent or other family members above 60 who continue to be a lifeline for their mentally ill adult relative? It’s not a topic that many folks want to think or talk about. It’s the kind of situation that is often  hidden in plain sight, which is why NAMI Rockland decided to address it.  The NAMI Rockland Support Group for Parents of an Adult Experiencing Mental Illness is an in-person support group for family members, significant others and friends of people with mental health conditions. This group has been meeting on the second Wednesday of the month from 7:10-9 PM at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Pearl River, N. Y. The NAMI Rockland facilitators (THANK YOU ELENA!) and the approximately 15 attendees of this group  have been providing each other with the unity, compassion and courage for an often neglected segment of seniors traveling on a lonely road. If you find yourself or someone you care about on a similar road, contact NAMI Rockland for more info about this group.

Needing help doesn’t mean you are bad or a burden… Everyone does, just in different ways and at different times. Since May of  1949, this month of rebirth has been known as “Mental Health Awareness Month” but if this particular writer ruled the world EVERY month  would be Mental Health Month… Because everybody knows somebody.