Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: Facebook Status

Over this past week, I posed the following question/dilemma on my Twitter feed: “ If you are in a relationship, why would you keep your martial status set on single? Wouldn’t you want the world to know that you are in love with someone?” – And with the overwhelming response, I realized that many people have been faced with this “relationship issue.”

Before Facebook, if we didn’t want someone to pursue us for whatever reason we would use the line, “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend,”and for the time being it would work until the person found out that you were lying. But today people don’t do that.

Instead they say they have a girlfriend/boyfriend, don’t have any photos of them together, keep their Facebook status set to single and hope that no one looks at it. Yes, people today are supposed to believe when they hear from a “friend” that someone has a girlfriend/boyfriend, even though their most recent profile picture on Facebook is just them and the flirt to no end with someone else. Not to mention that their body language says, “I’m interested,” we are still suppose to naively believe that there in a “relationship.”

As someone who replied to my question put it, “ I have Facebook friends who are in a relationship yet the guys says single or its complicated with no name. If a man is real he wants to keep other men away so he claims her as her girlfriend.” Another response put it this way, “Maybe because they’re not proud of the relationship, or see it as temporary or are otherwise still playing the field. Any way you slice it, it’s not a good sign.”

I happen to agree. They don’t have to broadcast who they are with, but if they are in a relationship and their status still says single and they are broadcasting that, what does it really say?

Recently I had to deal with this issue myself when a jealous friend of a guy I am interested in told me that he was “taken.” And when I said that the truth is if he had a girlfriend and felt as if I was after him it’s not hard to say, I have a girlfriend or casually mention her in conversation instead of having his body language tell me that he’s interested, besides all the flirting he did!

But the fact that Facebook is used these days not only as a way to share ideas, pictures and our everyday lives, it is also a tool that most private investigators are using to “spy” on people for their clients. More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook, according to a survey by Divorce Online, a UK-based legal services firm. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used or faced evidence from Facebook. (and other social media sites)

People today more than ever, just don’t value honesty and clear-cut communication. I think I found out more about what my friends and family were doing thanks to Facebook, instead of them calling me or even texting me. And to top it all off, when I told the “friend” of the guy I was interested in that there’s no reason for us not to even just be “friends” she said that he doesn’t want to “jeopardize” his “relationship.” What she meant to say was that he doesn’t want to jeopardize their “friendship.”

There’s nothing wrong with being friends. One of my best friends is a guy and he’s married, so because he’s married, I can’t be friends with him? That sounds silly. It also smells fishy to me.

And now thanks to Facebook, I now have a better understanding of what is going on. Stay tuned.

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