Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: Misunderstandings Happen

Misunderstandings happen in relationships all the time, whether the relationship is romantic or platonic. The thing I hate the most is when the misunderstanding drives a wedge into the relationship because one party decides to either ignore you and the situation or they lead you to believe otherwise, which in fact makes you think you did something wrong. (When of course you didn’t do anything wrong, that’s where the misunderstanding comes into play!)

It is true to the core, that some people are just hard at putting their emotions into words. But it’s this lack of communication that makes people believe that there is a problem when in fact, there might not be.

Step one: Is to have patience, which is the hardest out of all the steps into clearing up any misunderstandings. People want answers, and they want answers now! This is upsetting for the friend or partner who might have no clue what’s wrong. But the best course is to first have patience to see if the partner will come around and open up and while waiting is a pain in the you know what, continue to show affection, like you would normally.

Step two: Your partner or friend might not always be in the mood to talk. Understand that sometimes things come up, work gets busy all of a sudden, they can be tired, people have bad days, so its wise to scope out the scene first before you can know for sure if there really is a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up. Most likely if they are “too busy” for a very long period of time, then that will be the clue that there is something that needs to be said. A week is a good measure of this.

Step three: Show some interest in them during this scooping period. This may in fact get them to open up.

Step four: If after you try to be patient in the hopes that they open up to you, they continue to be “extremely busy” for more than a week, and you fail to get a response from them even after you show support and continued affection, then the you may have to literally ask if there is a reason for the all of sudden lack of communication, especially if they go from talking to you all the time to cutting you out all together for what looks like no apparent reason. The easiest way to get attention is to send a note that you need to talk to them once they get a free moment. The note should also say that you have to ask them a question once they get a free moment. This way they will respond. If you just say that you need to talk to them when they get a free moment, you maybe waiting for a long time!

Step five: The idea is to be firm, but not overbearing. And there’s no point in yelling. Yelling at someone gets you nowhere but right back to where you started from. The idea here is to be understanding but also get your point across that you deserve open communication. No one is a mind reader and that is the point you are trying to get across. Plus, you also want to let your friend or partner know that you care about them and that they can be open to you about anything.

Friendships of all kinds are precious and you must not lose them over misunderstanding. Sometimes the smallest understanding can turn into a major drama unnecessarily, but in the end if they really are your true friends they will try and sort it out with you.

The glue that holds any relationship together is: honesty, trust, and communication.

Any relationship takes work. Nothing is easy. Men can’t be afraid to admit they are confused, frustrated, not sure, etc. And women need to be a little bit more understanding that sometimes things said are taken out of context. If you really want the relationship to work, you will do what is needed to see it through. No relationship is perfect. There are going to be ups and downs. But it’s the way you handle the downs that will make or break the relationship. Think about it. The more you yell and make mountains out of mole hills, the more you will push people you love out of your life. But at the same time I can honestly say, don’t assume things. There is never anything wrong with asking!

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